Hello, you have reached the Police Department's Voice Mail. Pay close attention as we have to update the choices often as new and unusual circumstances arrive. Please select one of the following options:

To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem that you created yourself, press 1.

To inquire as to whether someone has to die before we'll do something about a problem, press 2.

To report an officer for bad manners, when in reality the officer is trying to keep your neighborhood safe, press 3.

If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.

If you would like us to take control of your life due to your chemical dependency or alcohol, press 5.

If you would like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took years to deteriorate, press 6.

To provide a list of officers you personally know so we will not take enforcement action against you, press 7.

To sue us, or tell us you pay our salary and you'll have our badge, or to proclaim our career is over, press 8.

To whine about a ticket and/or complain about the many other uses for police rather than keeping your dumb butt in line, press 9.

To inquire as to whether we have any idea who you are, and if we are aware of just how much you actually do for the city/police department, press 10.

Please note your call may be monitored to assure proper customer support and remember.....we're here to save/help your butt, NOT kiss it!

Thanks for calling your local police department and have a nice day

I'm sure a lot of you have seen this circulated in emails. I've seen it myself a lot. For those of you who haven't, enjoy it. I know I did the first time I saw it. Funny, I guess policing all over the United States is pretty much the same big and small. We've all got our "special folks" to deal with daily.

Even though that is just a joke, so much of it rings true. There is no doubt each and every one of us on the police force has dealt with each one of these at one time or another. Its sad, but true. The old adage is true, basically no one likes the police until they need the police. Okay, not everyone. Most everyone though. Like when you see a cop in your rearview mirror. You get that funny feeling and begin to wish they would just turn off. After a while, you even turn off yourself to get them out from behind you. It's a normal response. I even find myself doing it sometimes in other cities.

But, even with all this, I would still not trade my job for another. I truly love it and believe I will miss it when I'm older and retired. That is one of the questions I get asked the most. Whether or not I truly like my job. Answer would be NO. I don't like my job. I LOVE my job. Otherwise, I would not do the job. NO doubt. Although most of the "frequent flyers" comprise the vocal majority. It is the silent majority for whom I do this job. I know they truly appreciate and even expect the performance of my duties. So, thats why I'm able to let all the naysaying, backbiting, and rumors of our unsavory characteristics(thats for another blog) roll right off my back like water on a duck. I do this for those who can't do for themselves, and to help my fellow man. Thats what its all about. Like the song says "c'mon people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together and try to love one another right now". Thats my sentiments. Life is too short to be hateful. Enjoy it while you can, and maybe help someone else enjoy it too. It'll definitely make you feel good about yourself.

Oh, and in case you are wondering, I believe I have experienced all of those. Number 10 would probably be my favorite one. That one will definitely get a little more of my attention if I have you stopped.

And the last phrase would be the phrase that pays folks....

Until next time..

Keep on..Keeping on..

Gary